Today’s post is deviating from the norm of lipstick and new shoes (get a cuppa, it’s long). I wanted to chat about something that I think all too many twenty-somethings are thinking, or at least sub-consciously struggling with, and it’s being where you want to be.
I was recently chatting to a friend about the controversial Kirstie Allsopp comments. If you’re not clued up, she made some comments around the issues young women are facing and dared to give her opinion that perhaps she may advise a daughter of her own to go about things differently. I’m not for one second saying I whole-heartedly support her comments – some of them aren’t particularly well thought through or educated into how some peoples live are, let alone industries some wish to work in, yet others hit a little too close to home for me and it got me thinking.
In the article, Kirsty goes off on a tangent about baby making and quite frankly that’s not high on my list of priorities. But that isn’t to say I’m not at an age where it would be unacceptable to have a child – hell, I’m about 5 years over the mark alot of my friends parents had them. It’s definitely something that will shift places in my To Do list within the next 7-10 years, and although it isn’t for me just, yet – is very important to some people my age. What I picked up on however, was this: “At the moment, women have 15 years to go to university, get their career on track, try and buy a home, and have a baby.”, and I think she’s hit the nail on the head. I left college at 18, went to University admittedly for the sake of it, studied something I didn’t know if I’d use but had a whale of a time and would do it all over again if I could. Saying that, I came out of uni at 21, stumbled through a few a handful of jobs until at 24, I decided what I actually wanted to do. I did my training, and started my own business (to do something I definitely didn’t need a degree for, let alone the one I have, for). All whilst living at home, which I still do now, and quite honestly, not paying my way. My boyfriend of 4 years has just completed his Undergrad after going in a little later than usual and has a few job opportunities lined up. That in itself makes me a little…bitter. Which is unfair – I’m just envious there is light at the end of his tunnel and I feel a little lost.
The first time I wrote this, it was a bit of a rant. You can see me leading into it in the last sentence of the previous paragraph, and just here is where I vented about being Generation Angry and the woes of a newly self employed twenty-something. But realistically, that’s my issue to face and not something that relates to many. It’s a unique circumstance to me that in time will hopefully change. But when talking to friends lately, it seems no one in my age bracket is where they want, or thought they would be.
For me, it’s about finances and therefore my living arangements. You’ve heard me mention it before, and at 26 I could not be more desperate to move out of my family home. There’s no nasties about it – I’m just too old! I want my own space, and as dramatic as it sounds, life’s short and I want to live it to the full. Being couped up in my childhood bedroom, isn’t letting me do that. I want space and my own personal touches. And that is where we get onto the property debate – rent or buy? I’ve got friends who have done both, and quite frankly, I’m no where near being able to afford either. If I could finally move out and afford my own rent, I’m not sure I’d buy a house this side of 45. All my income would go into renting and there would be very little to save for a deposit with, even if we looked at a shared ownership scheme. I have friends in salaried jobs who have the same situation, and then I have the friends who are on the right track financially, but wanting out of their dead-end or lacklustre jobs. Or maybe those who seem to have it all, but are actually internally pushing themselves to the limit with these unnecessary pressures to be the best all the (goddam) time, to the point they might burst.
Right now there are so many things floating around in my head – my business is not only in it’s first 2 years, but it’s also an incredibly competitive industry. I’ll put my hands up and say, I didn’t have a clue being a make up artist was like this when I signed up. Team my personal money woes with my need and want to leave home leads me onto the fact that I’m terrified my boyfriend is going to grab himself a fab job with a decent salary and I’m going to either a) hold him back or b) rely on him. Which is worse?
There’s so much to think about as a young person trying to make a go of life – property, money, business…the fun stuff like travel and friends, let alone marriage and babies in time. The latter are no where on my radar but say they were – how on earth would either work financially? It’s not even a concept I can imagine at the moment.
After a brief philosophical chat with Mel on Saturday night, following on from her wellbeing post (here), it’s fairly certain to say everyone is in the same boat. Her post focused on celebrating your successes and not dwelling on what you haven’t got. As a reasonably optimistic person, I think it’s a shame I don’t do that more often and when I stumbled across the quote I’ve popped above, it did make me think. I like what I do, and aside from ongoing personal development in my career, I like how I do it. And that isn’t just with work – I love my job, and I like how I live my life outside of it.
Things could certainly be improved on, but what is there to work for if everyone already has it all?
If you’ve landed here, you’re probably looking to find out more about Katherine-Louise. Run by me, Kat - put simply I'm a 30 year old who is decidedly normal. My blog is a destination for women just like me - the same interests and aspirations, working our way through the same twists and turns of life. Katherine-Louise is designed to inspire and inform; to give you a break from the norm as well identify with the beauty of routine. A fifteen minute recoup, or an hours vacation, it’s the go-to for Everyday-Joe’s, just like me, who want a few minutes off the radar.